Love Me Where
You're At
By Francis Frangipane
(En Español)
I have discovered
that as we seek the Lord, our most difficult periods can be transformed into
wonderful breakthroughs into God's love. For me, one such season occurred during
the years 1979 to1981. The association of churches with which I was aligned had
fallen under spiritual deception. Not only were its core doctrines increasingly
seeded with New Age influences, but immorality crept in, and key leaders began
leaving their wives for other women. I could no longer remain silent. As a
result, in 1979 I left my congregation in Detroit, Michigan, where I had served
as pastor, and traveled to the organization's regional headquarters in Iowa. I
came to plead for repentance. However, after meeting with the senior leaders, I
was asked to leave the group.
So here we were---we had
left our church, we had no money, and we had four little children; we couldn't
even afford basic housing. Desperate for anything, we finally found an old
farmhouse in rural Washington, Iowa. The home was over a hundred years old, but
it actually looked much older. After negotiating with the landlord, we were
given a year of free rent provided I did basic repairs to the house, such as
cleaning and painting.
Even so, the house needed
more than I could provide. The furnace did not work well, so we installed a wood
burner stove in the kitchen. That first winter, it turned out, was one of the
coldest in Iowa's history. Frost formed on the inside walls, spreading a foot or
two around each window; wind chills dropped to 60 below, and even colder on
several occasions.
To keep warm each night, the
whole family cuddled tightly on one large mattress on the dining room floor,
about 18 feet from the wood burner in the kitchen. A fan behind the stove nudged
warm air in our direction. My nightly project, of course, was to build enough
heat in the stove to keep us warm until morning.
While I worked the fire, I
also would pray and seek God. The wood burner became a kind of altar to me, for
each night as I prayed, I offered to God my unfulfilled dreams and the pain of
my spiritual isolation. Yes, I knew the Lord was aware of our situation. Though
we had virtually nothing, He showed Himself to us in dozens of little ways. I
just didn't know what He wanted of me.
As the seasons came and
went, another child was born, and then we fostered a young girl from Vietnam,
giving us six children. Still, as the family grew, the little area around the
wood burner became a hallowed place to me. Even in the summer, I would sit on
the chair next to the stove and pray and worship.
I would like to say I found
the joy of the Lord during this time, but in truth, though I gradually adjusted
to my situation, I felt an abiding misery in my soul. Our deep poverty was an
issue (I barely made $6,000 a year), but more than that, I felt like I had
missed the Lord. My continual prayer was, "Lord, what do You want of
me?"
Three years of seeking God
passed, and I still carried an emptiness inside. What was God's will for me? I
had started a couple Bible studies and spoken a few times in churches, but I so
identified with being a pastor that, until I was engaged again in full-time
ministry, I feared I had lost touch with God's call on my life.
In spite of this inner
emptiness concerning ministry, I actually was growing spiritually, especially in
areas that were previously untilled. I went through the Gospels, hungry to study
and obey the words of Christ. Previously, I had unconsciously defined a
successful ministry as something born of my performance. During this time,
however, the Lord reduced me to simply being a disciple of Jesus
Christ.
Indeed, a number of things I
thought were biblical I discovered were really just religious traditions. The
Lord desired that I take inventory of my heart and examine those few truths for
which I would be willing to die. He said the truths for which I would die, for
these I should live.
Frankly, things like the
timing of the rapture or nuances about worship style or spiritual gifts dropped
in their priority, though I still considered them important. Rising to the top
of my focus was a passion to be a true follower of Jesus Christ---to obey His
teachings and approach life not merely as a critic but more as an encourager. I
also found myself increasingly free to enjoy and learn from Christians from
other streams and perspectives.
Yet, these changes, though
deep and lasting, occurred slowly, almost imperceptibly. They were happening
quietly in my heart, and only in hindsight did I see what the Lord had done.
Throughout this time, I was preoccupied with feelings of detachment from God's
will. My prayer to know the Lord's plan for me continued daily.
The
Breakthrough
One day, as I stood in the kitchen pantry, I repeated
again my abiding prayer: "Lord, what do You want of me?" In a sudden flash of
illumination, the Lord answered. Speaking directly to my heart, He said, "Love
Me where you're at."
In this time and season,
remember, I was not a pastor or minister. I was a television repairman doing odd
jobs on the side to provide for my family. I hated what I was doing. In my
previous church I taught against TV, and now I was "laying hands" on television
sets and raising them from the dead! The Lord's answer cut straight to my heart.
I was awed at its simplicity! I asked, "Love You where I am at? Lord, is that
all You want of me?" To this He responded, "This is all I will ever require of
you."
In that eternal moment,
peace flooded my soul and I was released from the false expectation of
ministry-driven service. God was not looking at what I did for Him, but who I
became to Him in love. The issue in His heart was not whether I pastored but
whether I loved Him. To love the Lord in whatever station I found myself---even
as a television repairman---this I could do!
A deep and remarkable
transformation occurred in me. My identity was no longer in being a pastor but
rather in becoming a true lover of God. Having settled my priorities, amazingly,
just a couple days later I was invited to pastor a church in Marion, Iowa. In
spite of all my previous anxiety about returning to ministry, I did not jump at
the opportunity. For I had found what the Lord truly desired of me. Though I
eventually accepted this call, my focus was not merely on leading a church but
on loving God.
What God
Seeks
More than one's ministry, God seeks our love. His great
commandment is that we love Him, ultimately, with all our mind, all our heart,
and all our soul and strength. If we love Him, we will fulfill all He requires
of us (John 14:15). And it is as we love Him that He orchestrates all things to
work together for our good (Rom. 8:28).
Beloved, loving God is not
hard. We can fulfill any assignment---auto mechanic or housewife, doctor or
college student---and still give great pleasure to our heavenly Father. We do
not need ministry titles to love the Lord. Indeed, God measures the value of our
lives by the depth of our love. This is what He requires of all true
God-seekers: to love Him where we are at.
Lord Jesus, the
revelation of Your love has swept me off my feet. Lord, You have drawn me and I
run after You. Master, even in the mundane things of life, I shall express my
love for You. Consume me in Your love.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The preceding message is
adapted from a chapter in Francis' book, And I Will Be Found By You
Published by Arrow Publications and available at www.arrowbookstore.com
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please feel free
to forward this message to others; acknowledging our web site would be kindly
appreciated.
Reprint
AgreementYour interest in duplicating and re-sending this material
is a joy to us. We only ask that you also provide website information for the
Ministries of Francis Frangipane. The only exception is if the article is
actually an excerpt from a book by another publisher. In this case they have
asked that they be listed as the reference. Finally, any questions about the
teachings of Francis Frangipane can be sent to info@frangipane.org. God
bless your pursuit of His heart.
www.frangipane.org
|
|
