Over and over and still over again I am being brought to the same realization. This revelation isn't about only one area of my life either. It is showing up in marriage, parenting, my relationship with Christ, organizing the pantry, doing the laundry, everywhere. No matter what it is, I need to do it. That's it, that's the realization.
I need to quit trying to be kinder with my words and speak kindly. Like the woman in Proverbs 31:26, I need to have the "law of kindness" on my tongue. It doesn't say this woman wanted to have the law of kindness on her tongue. It says it is on there. This would mean on PMS days, during her monthly cycle days, days after sleepless nights, stressful days, tiring days, all days.
Instead of wishing cute clothing of a smaller size fit, I need to honestly determine what I am willing to do to make that happen and do it. Likewise, I need to relax, play more, and enjoy every possible second with my husband and children. All of those hours, days, and years rushing through to get the house clean and the laundry done don't have to be stressed out. I could be laughing my way through the chores instead of working so hard to get them done in order to relax and have fun when they are complete.
No one has to do anything, say anything, or behave a certain way for me to have a good day every day. I choose whether or not to enjoy every second of each day. My choice. Granted, cranky kids and turbulent teens can make that choice easier or more difficult, but it is still my choice. If I want to have a great day, then I need to do it and have one.
Do it. That includes living as if I believe God and His Word too. No, this isn't about whether or not I say I believe everything He has said. This is about me living as if I know it. Sounds sorta kinda like living intentionally. Doesn't it? Yeah, I noticed that too. I confess that when I wrote about living intentionally on purpose I hadn't the foggiest idea God would take me so seriously nor that He would continue to show me how. Am I glad He has? Oh yes. However, I must admit that had I known that those posts way back when were only the beginning of a life-changer of a habit, I might have thought twice before saying "Yes! Count me in! I want to!" Then again, I might have jumped in faster and gone deeper.
Whatever it is, I need to do it. Waiting for the perfect moment of "just so perfection" is only wasting time. It's been too long since I've worn new lingerie, too long since I've gone hiking with my children, too long since I've made playdough from scratch - and played with it, too long since I've spent the entire afternoon or morning lost in reading the Word, too long since I lit all of the candles and fully enjoyed them without blowing them out to "make 'em last longer", too long since I had grouchiness slap me and I refused to wear it, too long since I didn't think about the future instead of enjoying this moment right now or else failed to prepare for a future pleasure by being overwhelmed in the hard of right now. Too long.
At the risk of sounding like a sporting goods advertisement, here is where you will find me in the coming days ahead. I'm going to be the one looking awkward and silly, at times maybe even ridiculous. That's me. I'll be the one with the crazy wide grin on her face, the one laughing until she cries at the antics of her children, the one weeping over the mess she just made, the one wondering how that mess happened. I'll be the one just doing it.
Intentionally on purpose is turning out to be way more involved than I ever imagined. In my deepest knower I know that this is exactly what I have been wanting. Who knew what I wanted would be so hard though? Perhaps though it isn't really hard so much as new. Yes, that's it. It's the newness of it, the lack of familiarity that makes it seem difficult. Learning new always requires a progression from awkward to skilled. Right now I am still in the awkward new stage, but there are more adventures coming. It won't always be awkward and clumsy. So, anyone else going to join me in this continued way of intentionally on purpose? Come on, try it, you might like it.