Wholeness Can Be Practical

Not every part of our journey towards wholeness will seem monumental. Each step will strengthen our spirit or soul. Some steps will be purely practical ones while others will find us on our faces before God. This week I have been discovering ways practical little things make a HUGE difference in the future of my family. While sorting through totes of memories, two things stick out most. ONE: Seven children create a LOT of paper memories. TWO: Writing names on children's paper memories will make sorting at a later date MUCH easier. With those two things shared, let's move on to the other things I learned while sorting.

Please be advised: if you are a mother who diligently organizes her children's memories in "proper" organizational containers, this post will have absolutely no relevance for you what so ever. However, if you are, or have been, a very busy mother who feels like supermom because she managed to keep the memories at all and better still actually got them stored in a container of any kind rather than remaining in a crazy stack on the floor or stuffed in drawers around the house, then read on.

• When deciding whether or not to hold on to a child's art or school work, DO NOT listen to your child. Make the decision FOR YOURSELF. Children will be grateful you did this when they get older. Maybe. Some of your children might anyway. When children are approx. between the ages of 12 and 25 it is common for them to show disdain for anything from their childhood. They are confident they will never want to look at drawings or other memories from when they were little. They may even attempt to sneak their school papers away from you into the trash. Persevere dear mama and dig that writing journal out of the garbage can. Hide it if necessary. If you enjoy reading it, your child will too someday. If they don't, oh well, you still will. Their grandmothers will sympathize with you in this. Grandfathers may not. Yes, it does appear to have something to do with gender. Not judging, just stating my observations.

• Don't forget to save little notes they have written. These are my favorite pieces of memories from my children's childhood. They wrote me such sweetly funny little notes. I laugh and/or cry with delight just as much now as I did when they wrote them 10-18 years ago. I want to keep memories from all parts of their lives not just school and holidays.

• If your child's teacher does not keep a portfolio of their work and pictures from the school year, consider creating one yourself. Portfolios enable paperwork, art, and mementos to be kept and stored easily without being fussy or labor intensive for the parent. Inexpensive plastic binders are excellent for this purpose. Page protectors can be used for small items. Another option would be to have a hanging file folder box for each child and place items from each year in a separate file folder. The outside of the folder could be labeled with the date and a picture of the child from that year. 

• Label and date every piece you choose to keep. This is an absolute must if you will be sorting through items at a later date. Trust me on this. You WILL NOT remember which child had which handwriting in 5, 7, or 10 years. 

Here is what I wish I had done throughout my children's school years:

• I wish I had stored each child's memories separately. Even if I had stored them in separate plastic bins to sift through later, having each child's things separated from the others would have streamlined the process immensely.

• I wish I had realized that future convenience would be more important in the long run than being frugal was at that moment. Placing my children's memories in hanging file folders, binders, or actual storage boxes instead of the way I did store them would have saved me hours at a future date. I excused my lack of organizing by looking at the future with the confident swagger of a twenty-something mama who hasn't yet learned how much she does not yet know. When my oldest four children were young, and I began storing memories of their lives, I envisioned the time following their high school graduations as a time when I would have an empty home and my days once filled with children would now contain endless hours tailored made for sorting through memories. Not only would I have endless hours to fill however I liked, but I would finally be able to get out all of the unused scrapbooks and supplies and put them to use. Oh how glorious and perfect those future scrapbooks appeared in my visions of the future. AND, because I would be facing the horrors of an empty nest after years of child-rearing, all of the sorting and organizing would be therapeutic for me. I could look at all of the memories, read their sweet little notes, and cry without anyone around to laugh at me, or join in. HA! Reality looks much different. With two elementary aged children, one preschooler, and their four older siblings at home, I now fervently wish I had spent the money for organizational boxes and done it up right. Lesson learned? Don't make the mistake of thinking I know what the future will look like or hold. I don't.

• I wish I had dated everything I stored. Seriously, I do. I did not think I would wonder, but I do. I thought I would be so caught up in the sweetness of remembering I wouldn't care how old they were when they drew or wrote that card or note, but now, looking back, I wonder how old they were when they did and said that. 

• I wish I had thought of my children's convenience instead of my own when considering how to store  memories. When I began storing memories it was for me as their mama. Now that I am older and have seen my parents, aunts, and uncles left with decisions regarding my grandparents' belongings I view the keeping of things from a much different perspective. Yes, I want to be able to enjoy sweet memories from my children's growing up years, and I definitely look forward to receiving cards and notes from grandchildren someday. However, I also realize whatever I keep is something I am leaving behind for someone else to deal with in the future. I want to make those future moments as painless as possible. 

• I wish I had asked God how to store my memories. He is the only One who knew what I would need in the future. Looking back I can see He tried to lead me in the right direction, and I didn't recognize it as Him. Consequently, I reasoned His still, small voice away. 

This brings us to the questions section. As I consider how to organize and store memories perhaps I can help myself by answering the following questions. Feel free to join me in answering the questions in your own journal/notebook.

1. Who am I keeping this memory for? Is this for me to look back on with fondness or is it to pass on to a future generation? 
2. Why am I keeping this? Is it connected with a pleasant memory, Does it need to stay in the family line? Why?
3. Do I care what happens to this item after I pass on? If so, I need to provide written instructions for the convenience of those who will be taking care of it. 
4. How can I store my memories for the fullest enjoyment possible? Would this be more enjoyable if kept in a scrapbook or storage box? Is there another way to enjoy this memory? Could this be turned into artwork by combining with a photograph? 
5. Will this be a future blessing or burden for my children?
6. Is this a burden or a blessing for me?
7. Are there any other areas of my life I need to ask God for His wisdom? Are there any other areas of my life I am using my own reasoning? Is there a nagging feeling when I think about certain area(s)? That could be an indication God's wisdom is needed.

Scripture to ponder: Habakkuk 2:2, James 1:5, Colossians 3:23, Proverbs 19:21, Isaiah 55:8-9