Not the Outward Appearance
1 Samuel 16:7
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” ESV
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” NLT
I'm not someone who shies away from topics. There is very little I'm not up for having an honest conversation about, except weight and personal appearance. For a number of reasons I avoid the topic of weight, mostly because I don't think a person's weight or size is important. Who a person is from the inside out is what counts; I truly believe this. However, I also avoid the topic because I am a fat person, and when a fat person gets on the weight bandwagon it often comes across as a wounded person with a chip on their shoulder. Haven't we all heard the slap of a fat person's snarky words hit the air waves with a resounding vibration of woundedness and pain?
If I'm going to bring something up, I want to sit around the table and share in a calm mature way. But weight is seldom a calm subject; there is so much emotion connected to individual appearance. There are so many individual opinions and perspectives about what is, and is not, acceptable in regards to a person's weight and size. Want to witness an emotional storm complete with sobbing and maybe even screams of injustice and pain? Talk about weight or shopping for clothes when you're overweight. Wow. It's intense. Nothing much calm or mature going on in those conversations. Those emotionally-charged discussions are exhausting for everyone involved.
I have experienced both sides of the weight/appearance issue. I have been borderline anorexic thin, and I am currently considered super morbidly obese. No matter what anyone says, there is a definite difference in the way thin, fashionably dressed people and overweight, neatly attired but not necessarily sporting the latest in fashion are treated. Thin people who are dressed fashionably definitely receive preferred treatment and are shown more respect by the majority of people, even friends and family. Don't believe me? Just go to a gathering after losing a significant amount of weight and see if you don't get the royal treatment. Family and friends who haven't spoken to you beyond basic polite chitchat for years will suddenly be gushing over you wanting to know "how you did it." You'll be the star of the show. Then pay attention to how others sporting some extra pounds are interacted with. Yes, it is sad, very very sad.
There are many reasons why people are overweight: not all obesity is laziness, nor are all overweight people unhealthy. Yet in spite of the scientific evidence proving long held opinions like these false, the age-old myths of laziness and poor health live on. Ignorance is dangerous, extremely dangerous. As I have already stated, my desire is for a calm, mature conversation regarding weight and appearance. However, the more I consider what I want to say about this subject, the more I realize what I really, truly desire to talk about isn't weight or appearance at all. Weight and appearance are merely examples of the root topic. The elephant in the room that I really want to address is our words and how vital it is for kindness and grace to saturate the words we speak. Because they are extremely personal issues intricately woven into our emotional responses and feelings, weight and personal appearance are very effective examples of the power our words wield. Not only are they personal, but weight and appearance are also a very real part of every gathering, especially during the holiday season.
As we travel the 2022 Holy Days may we honor everyone, no matter what their size or appearance. May none of us fall prey to the false beliefs of ages past that say a thin person is more attractive and/or more ambitious and/or healthy than an overweight individual. May we not deprive ourselves of the wisdom and rich fellowship of those we meet simply because they don't look the way we think successful beautiful people of value look. May our personal opinions be transformed. May we value what God values and honor what He honors. May ignorance and carnal thinking no longer be our portion, but may we truly be whole-minded and lavish God's love on everyone in equally extravagant measure, just like God does. May we always remember that every person has been created in the image of our loving God. May we obey the Lord's instructions to the prophet Samuel found in 1 Samuel 16:7: “Don’t judge by his (or her) appearance or height, . . ." for as God so clearly told Samuel, "The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (emphasis mine)
Let's pray together:
Lord, from this moment on, may we not judge others by outward appearances. Please teach us how to remove ALL opinions and beliefs that don't align with You and Your way of doing and being right so that we can look at the heart as You do. Please help us not be distracted by what we see and hear. Let us be influenced by You and Your love alone. May we remember Your words of instruction to us in Colossians 4:6 that tell us to keep our speech full of grace. May we remember also Your words in Romans 5:5 that tell us Your love is shed abroad in our hearts and how You tell us what Your love looks and sounds like in 1 Corinthians 13.
Oh Dearest Only LORD may we be diligent to study Your words and instructions to us, and may we also be diligent to order our lives according to them. Let us not be slothful, lazy servants swayed by superficial, unimportant things like outward appearance and size. For, as You ask in Romans 14:4, who are we to judge another man's servants? Let us pay attention to ALL Your words and instructions. May we be obedient children who obey ALL of Your words and instructions to us. Instructions such as those in Ephesians 5:1. Oh that we will imitate You as dearly beloved children imitate their Father, for You are our Abba, our Father.
May we realize that the battles we fight are so often in the everyday words and behaviors we speak and live out. May we not allow evil the smallest foothold in our words, behaviors, and beliefs. May You and You alone be Lord of everything we say and do, and yes, Lord, may You be Lord of everything we believe, everything. If You don't judge the outside, may we not either. If You value the heart, may we also value the heart. You tell us in Matthew 12:34 it is out of the heart the mouth speaks. Let us listen to our words so that we can hear what is in our heart. What are we saying? What words are we speaking? Are they words of life and love? Are we uttering words of God or words of man? What condition are our hearts in? Oh dear Lord, we pray the words of Psalms 19:14 that the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord our strength and redeemer.
Not only our words but also the meditations of our heart. Meditations are what we utter, mutter, and ponder on. What are we uttering, muttering, and pondering? May this too be acceptable in Your sight Oh Lord. May even those things we meditate on in our hearts please You. You are good, and Your mercy endures forever. May we extend You and Your mercy always, at all times, everywhere we go. May we be known as God people. May Your light shine forth from us so that You are glorified simply by us being present in the room. May it be all You and only You every day in every way.
In the name of Jesus we pray,
Amen - may it be so