Making Your Own Banana Split a.k.a. I am my Beloved's and He is Mine
Posts from the Past
Once upon a time, way back when, several children ago, my husband and I attended a special meeting just for couples. This meeting was led by a well known evangelist and was to deal with the specific topic of marriage. It was a very nice evening. There were many couples, good food, and wise thoughts and truths shared in regards to marriage. However, out of all the wisdom presented I only remember one thing the minister said "You have to make your own banana split." He went on to explain that each marriage is different because the individuals in the marriage are different, and that we all must create a union that works for each one of us as a couple. Because each of us come from varying backgrounds and possess unique personalities and traits, no one prescription for marital bliss will work for all unions.
How freeing this was to me. Being somewhat of a perfectionist, I had been doing everything I knew to "get it right" yet seldom were my efforts successful. Once I embraced the wisdom of the minister's statement, I was set free to enjoy the "banana split" that my husband and I were creating. The fact that our marriage is completely outside the box and nothing like the "norm" (whatever that is), was no longer viewed as proof that I was messing up as a wife, but simply confirmation that we were adding a sweet sauce to our own personal dessert. This unique, non-conforming view of marriage has resulted in a relationship that is far beyond anything I dared to hope for. The union that God has led my husband and I into is truly a marvelous thing that only God could create. I am living out the dreams of my girlhood, this I know.
Knowing that God has done marvelous things in my life and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams, I still know that this marital bliss of blessings did not just happen. My husband and I did NOT attend a meeting and "POOF!" when we awoke in the morning everything was magically a fairytale. This particular gift from our loving Heavenly Father's hand has developed bit by bit, step by slow, painful step through the years as we each died to more and more of our fleshly selves so that we might live through Christ. Many hard and difficult battles have been fought and just as many long and rugged mountains of struggle have been climbed to reach the place we're at. What's more, there are still some to face. Both my husband and I are very much human. Each of us is more than a little individualistic with decided opinions on many issues. (Those who know us are probably laughing and thinking I've just made the understatement of the century.) Yet in spite of us, God has worked a miraculous work, one neither my husband nor I take for granted.
I am a blessed woman. Of that there is no doubt. I am truly loved as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Eph. 5:25) My husband has literally read and meditated on 1Corinthians 13 every day, many times during the day for several months in a row in the midst of various seasons in our lives. I have stood on the Word for him during other seasons of adversity. However if we are to be an accurate example of Christ and the church to those around us, we must commit to complete obedience of God's Word in this area as well as others. It is not easy or even pleasant for my husband to listen to me rattle on about topics which interest him not at all. Neither is it enjoyable for him to endure times of hormonal thunder and lightning regularly. During these times my husband doesn't just endure, he draws me even closer and showers me with the sweetest loving care. He seeks ways to bless me and make my days easier. Yes, you might even say he spoils me. He is extravagant in his love for me, just like my Heavenly Father. Like Jesus, my beloved sacrifices for me, and as the Holy Spirit comforts, so does the high priest of my home. That's what husbands are to be, high priests of the home. I am so very, very blessed to be loved as God loves.
Making our own banana split can be applied to any area of our lives. It's really just a visual way of saying that we each need to seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit for ourselves and obey Him. We can't continue to forcefully manipulate circumstances and the people in our lives to fit the same old pattern everyone else is trying to fit in and expect to end up with a result that is beyond our wildest dreams. If we continue doing and saying the same old things, we will continue to receive the same old results. Different results require our actions, words, and thoughts to be changed. I pray that we all continue to change into our Savior's image more and more. Philippians 4:13 AMP tells us that "I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]. May we walk in this strength in our marriages today and every day.
What a witness of Christ this would be to everyone around us. The victory is worth the cost of the fight. The eternal peace is worth the temporal conflict. The life of love is definitely worth the sacrifice of self. As intense and difficult as crucifying our own opinions, wishes, and desires can be, the immensity of the freedom is literally indescribable. It is truly something that you must discover for yourself. So, go on, dive right in to God's river of Love, and "make your own banana split".