Just a little note: The following post feels a bit different than usual to me. I don't know why it seems so different, but it does somehow. When writing, it sort of just came out all by itself. Even though it felt like an awkward read to me when proofreading, the quiet intensity I sensed within led me to publish it anyway. Ordinarily I would delete anything that feels like an awkward read, but not this. This visit will take place for I know the One who turned the water into wine, and He will take these words that "came out all by themselves" and cause them to flow smooth and sure when read. He knows your name and wants you to know that He is pleased with you. He loves you. He knows who you are, what you do, what you say, how you say it and loves you still. He desires more for you; it is true. Yet in spite of how you are living less than His desired plan for you, He knows your heart and loves you still. Thank you in advance for allowing Him to visit with us today. Love is in the house, Abundant Love @ Abundance House.
Hi there. Did your afternoon go as fast as mine? Granted mine went by so rapidly because I did what I rarely do: I took a nap. *insert shocked gasp* Yes, I took a nap and lived to tell about it. Nothing horrible happened. The sky didn't fall. The world is still turning. All is well and in order. After weeks of going more than usual and/or sweating more than normal a nap felt good, the just right sort of good.
A nap, a glass of ice water, and time spent pondering Godly thoughts from a blog that visits my inbox were a delightful wake up call to the late afternoon/evening left to enjoy. As a matter of fact those thoughts are what drew me our visit together today. The thoughts an author shared were about excitement of vacations versus the mundane of everyday and how it all fits in a believer's life. The train of thoughts has travelled along rapidly and is now slowing down at another individual line to ponder a while. Feel free to grab a glass of ice water and curl up on the sofa with me while we talk about where this line of thinking has taken me.
So this is where the thought train has slowed down at: In spite of my desire to live wholly only for God am I still unknowingly worshipping and serving myself instead of Him? Am I spending my every waking moment loving the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving my neighbor as myself or am I wishing my days were being done my way? Am I seeing everything each day contains as opportunity to love others as God does or am I attempting to shape each day into what I want it to look like? For instance, am I seeing bickering, fighting children as an opportunity to minister God's Love to my children or am I silently dreaming of a day when the fighting stops? Have I sped by the moment of opportunity to be an in the flesh example of the Love of God so that I can reach a destination of my own choosing? As I consider these questions the answers I find knock me into a horrified silence. The answers being revealed are not the answers I want to discover.
Answers such as the ones being revealed cause my heart to bow in repentance. Sensing His presence I look up to find He is here tenderly gazing at me with love-filled eyes. He is not surprised. God is not shocked. God is not horrified. He has known all along. God has known what I have been doing, why I do it, and loves me still. As I confess the sin revealed during my ponderings He smiles and kisses my forehead. He is pleased. Pleased. God is pleased with me. If God is pleased with me, and I sense very strongly that He is, why am I not pleased with myself? I am not pleased with myself because I am working towards a self-view of my own making rather than the one God has created. It's the same sin earlier revealed manifesting in a different way. So what is the root here? Could it be that I am still firmly seated on the throne of my life? Am I still ruling and reigning even though I desire for God to be Lord? The answer to these questions isn't what I would like it be either.
More revelation. More repentance. More cleansing. More truth being learned and hopefully walked in. More of Him Who is Love living in and through me. More of Him. Less of me. Jesus is enough. He is, always has been, and always will be enough. Thank You God Holy Spirit for leading, teaching, and guiding me in the way of Truth, the way of Love. Thank You. Now may eyes to see, ears to hear, and a mind to know and understand God and His righteousness be alive and active in me each and every day. May the way I walk and talk be the way God has planned and ordained and not my own. May He be Lord of all in me every day in every way. In Jesus' name, Amen and Amen.