Perspective: Always Only Love
With navigating our families together in close quarters, perhaps remembering Love. Always, Only Love might be helpful. God's Blessings to You All!
Mid Afternoon Valentine's Day 2020:
(Thank you in advance for bearing with me as I sort through all of this.)
So there are all these thoughts concerning perspective running around my head lately, and Valentine's Day or not, I've got to get some of this mental clutter out. It's getting way too crowded in this noggin of mine.
Perspective. This one word has a profound affect on our lives. Example after example of how profoundly perspective shapes us began to be revealed to me during some family life-coaching sessions a couple of years ago. Even though the life-coaching has ended, the examples have continued to show up, time and time again, in many different areas.
Not wanting to go into details, I'll sum things up by saying how a person views and lives life is shaped largely in part by their personal perspective of the people and events they have encountered during their time on earth. If you doubt this, find a family with several grown children and ask each child individually what they think about their parents and childhood. There is a strong probability you will wonder whether the people you are asking grew up on the same planet, let alone the same family! Seriously, it's a legit probability.
Personal perspectives vary widely from person to person. My daughter who preferred to play outside or hang out with the men instead of visiting with the women has a vastly different perspective of our family than someone who might have been enjoying the chatter and laughter of the women. My oldest son too varies from some of his sisters in his perspective of what our family has and has not done or experienced.
Hanging out with the men or playing with the other children isn't better or worse than chatting with the women. It simply provides a different perspective. The child who avoids the women as if they had the plague probably won't soak up as much information about topics such as childbirth, post natal care, and other womanly areas of concern. It's kind of difficult to learn about breastfeeding while handing tools to the men in the shop. Likewise, the child drying dishes in the kitchen won't be as familiar with the tools in the shop, football terms, or whatever else the men are discussing.
Neither the kitchen or the shop is wrong. Each simply provide a different perspective. Just because one person spends their childhood with the women doesn't mean what went on elsewhere didn't happen. It just means that individual didn't experience it for his or her self. Neither is wrong or bad, just different.
If, however, anyone begins to make judgments and decisions about what is, or is not, true based on their own individual perspective, then some problems may creep in, seriously major problems. I have a personal example of this. Years ago my small children and I would sometimes come to work with my husband and spend the day at his parents' house while he worked on the ranch. While the men were out working during the day, I would help his mother out with odd jobs around her home. Often, when the jobs were wrapped up for the day, my mother-in-law would have me join her in the living room to sit down and rest for a bit. If the men would come home while she was having me sit down, she would tell me to stay sitting while she headed into the kitchen to start supper.
Not considering the fact that my husband had no knowledge of what had been going on in the house all afternoon, I gave no thought whatsoever to how the situation would appear to him when he walked in the house. What he saw upon entering the house was his elderly mother scooting around the kitchen to get supper on while his young wife sat on her backside in the living room watching the children play. Not good. Not good at all. I am embarrassed to admit that I never did realize how terrible such a thing looked to my husband. After years of me wondering why he had such a poor opinion of me I was horrified when he revealed his opinion concerning this situation. I had no idea! I knew I had been working all afternoon while his mother enjoyed her grandchildren. It never crossed my mind how the situation would appear to him. Yikes! And there were more examples of situations similar to this.
All of my husband's opinions were valid. Based on his perspective, his opinions were spot on. What he observed, however, wasn't all there was; there was more than he knew. His perspective was limited. It didn't contain all of the facts. It was as accurate as it could be with the information he had. It wasn't truth though. Only some of the situation was observed; the rest of the situation was unknown.
And here we are. We've caught up with the thoughts running through my head. Not everything is known. There is simply too much unknown for any of us to form an opinion or pass judgment on anything or anyone, ever. No matter how long we have been part of a family or how close the family we grew up in was, there will always be something we don't know. There will be some little detail, some conversation that took place when we weren't there, something sometime that somehow we missed being a part of that will keep us from completely knowing everything there is to know about - well, about - about anything - about anyone.
While considering the perspectives of my various loved ones and how their perspectives have shaped their opinions of and feelings towards myself and the rest of our family, I have recognized personal perspectives of my own that need to be adjusted. I can see so many areas where not knowing, or ignorance, has held me prisoner to misunderstandings and unnecessary pain. I have also been saddened by how easily a person's perspective can cause them to miss out on the rich blessings of a loving family.
Growth is not without pain, and mental and emotional growth spurts can produce growing pains too. Learning about personal perspective and how it affects a family has been a deeply needed lesson. In spite of the emotional pain involved, I'm thankful God has revealed these things to me. I am thankful for the process of growing in insight and understanding. I needed to know. I needed to see and learn what I had not previously known or understood.
So, what's the consensus? God knows everything. I don't know enough to assume I know anything. When all the thoughts have been stilled, and all is stripped away and laid bare, this truth remains: God knows. God. Only God knows. Always and only it is God. God alone knows everything there is to know. Only God knows enough to have an opinion. Only God is the Only True God.
This One and Only God knows everything. He knows me. I'm not everything, but I am a part of the everything He knows. I am known by the One True Living God, the Almighty, All-Knowing God. He knows everything, He knows me, and He leads me. He does more than lead me. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names' sake. He leads me in the way He planned for me, a way that is good and full of hope. I don't have to know everything. I know the One who does.
Not only does He know me, He loves me. As a matter of fact He loves me so much that He gave His only Son that I might be saved and live. It is the gift of God, being saved by grace through faith. Talk about love. Love. God is love, and Love is bigger than any perspective mankind could have.
My children will undoubtedly have perspectives that show me in a less than beautiful light. They won't necessarily be accurate perspectives, but they will be valid, based on each child's knowledge of their childhood. They may even share these perspectives and opinions with others, inaccurate though they may be..Those childhood perspectives can be painful, especially when they aren't true. But God, Love, He knows. He sees and He knows.
Inaccurate perspectives, ignorant opinions, straight up lies, none of these things alter truth. They cause pain and wound the soul, but Love knows truth and Love heals. Love endures long and is kind. Love never fails. Love. On this Valentine's Day may you know the deep abiding reality of Love. Always, only Love.
Mid Afternoon Valentine's Day 2020:
(Thank you in advance for bearing with me as I sort through all of this.)
So there are all these thoughts concerning perspective running around my head lately, and Valentine's Day or not, I've got to get some of this mental clutter out. It's getting way too crowded in this noggin of mine.
Perspective. This one word has a profound affect on our lives. Example after example of how profoundly perspective shapes us began to be revealed to me during some family life-coaching sessions a couple of years ago. Even though the life-coaching has ended, the examples have continued to show up, time and time again, in many different areas.
Not wanting to go into details, I'll sum things up by saying how a person views and lives life is shaped largely in part by their personal perspective of the people and events they have encountered during their time on earth. If you doubt this, find a family with several grown children and ask each child individually what they think about their parents and childhood. There is a strong probability you will wonder whether the people you are asking grew up on the same planet, let alone the same family! Seriously, it's a legit probability.
Personal perspectives vary widely from person to person. My daughter who preferred to play outside or hang out with the men instead of visiting with the women has a vastly different perspective of our family than someone who might have been enjoying the chatter and laughter of the women. My oldest son too varies from some of his sisters in his perspective of what our family has and has not done or experienced.
Hanging out with the men or playing with the other children isn't better or worse than chatting with the women. It simply provides a different perspective. The child who avoids the women as if they had the plague probably won't soak up as much information about topics such as childbirth, post natal care, and other womanly areas of concern. It's kind of difficult to learn about breastfeeding while handing tools to the men in the shop. Likewise, the child drying dishes in the kitchen won't be as familiar with the tools in the shop, football terms, or whatever else the men are discussing.
Neither the kitchen or the shop is wrong. Each simply provide a different perspective. Just because one person spends their childhood with the women doesn't mean what went on elsewhere didn't happen. It just means that individual didn't experience it for his or her self. Neither is wrong or bad, just different.
If, however, anyone begins to make judgments and decisions about what is, or is not, true based on their own individual perspective, then some problems may creep in, seriously major problems. I have a personal example of this. Years ago my small children and I would sometimes come to work with my husband and spend the day at his parents' house while he worked on the ranch. While the men were out working during the day, I would help his mother out with odd jobs around her home. Often, when the jobs were wrapped up for the day, my mother-in-law would have me join her in the living room to sit down and rest for a bit. If the men would come home while she was having me sit down, she would tell me to stay sitting while she headed into the kitchen to start supper.
Not considering the fact that my husband had no knowledge of what had been going on in the house all afternoon, I gave no thought whatsoever to how the situation would appear to him when he walked in the house. What he saw upon entering the house was his elderly mother scooting around the kitchen to get supper on while his young wife sat on her backside in the living room watching the children play. Not good. Not good at all. I am embarrassed to admit that I never did realize how terrible such a thing looked to my husband. After years of me wondering why he had such a poor opinion of me I was horrified when he revealed his opinion concerning this situation. I had no idea! I knew I had been working all afternoon while his mother enjoyed her grandchildren. It never crossed my mind how the situation would appear to him. Yikes! And there were more examples of situations similar to this.
All of my husband's opinions were valid. Based on his perspective, his opinions were spot on. What he observed, however, wasn't all there was; there was more than he knew. His perspective was limited. It didn't contain all of the facts. It was as accurate as it could be with the information he had. It wasn't truth though. Only some of the situation was observed; the rest of the situation was unknown.
And here we are. We've caught up with the thoughts running through my head. Not everything is known. There is simply too much unknown for any of us to form an opinion or pass judgment on anything or anyone, ever. No matter how long we have been part of a family or how close the family we grew up in was, there will always be something we don't know. There will be some little detail, some conversation that took place when we weren't there, something sometime that somehow we missed being a part of that will keep us from completely knowing everything there is to know about - well, about - about anything - about anyone.
While considering the perspectives of my various loved ones and how their perspectives have shaped their opinions of and feelings towards myself and the rest of our family, I have recognized personal perspectives of my own that need to be adjusted. I can see so many areas where not knowing, or ignorance, has held me prisoner to misunderstandings and unnecessary pain. I have also been saddened by how easily a person's perspective can cause them to miss out on the rich blessings of a loving family.
Growth is not without pain, and mental and emotional growth spurts can produce growing pains too. Learning about personal perspective and how it affects a family has been a deeply needed lesson. In spite of the emotional pain involved, I'm thankful God has revealed these things to me. I am thankful for the process of growing in insight and understanding. I needed to know. I needed to see and learn what I had not previously known or understood.
So, what's the consensus? God knows everything. I don't know enough to assume I know anything. When all the thoughts have been stilled, and all is stripped away and laid bare, this truth remains: God knows. God. Only God knows. Always and only it is God. God alone knows everything there is to know. Only God knows enough to have an opinion. Only God is the Only True God.
This One and Only God knows everything. He knows me. I'm not everything, but I am a part of the everything He knows. I am known by the One True Living God, the Almighty, All-Knowing God. He knows everything, He knows me, and He leads me. He does more than lead me. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His names' sake. He leads me in the way He planned for me, a way that is good and full of hope. I don't have to know everything. I know the One who does.
Not only does He know me, He loves me. As a matter of fact He loves me so much that He gave His only Son that I might be saved and live. It is the gift of God, being saved by grace through faith. Talk about love. Love. God is love, and Love is bigger than any perspective mankind could have.
My children will undoubtedly have perspectives that show me in a less than beautiful light. They won't necessarily be accurate perspectives, but they will be valid, based on each child's knowledge of their childhood. They may even share these perspectives and opinions with others, inaccurate though they may be..Those childhood perspectives can be painful, especially when they aren't true. But God, Love, He knows. He sees and He knows.
Inaccurate perspectives, ignorant opinions, straight up lies, none of these things alter truth. They cause pain and wound the soul, but Love knows truth and Love heals. Love endures long and is kind. Love never fails. Love. On this Valentine's Day may you know the deep abiding reality of Love. Always, only Love.
Happy Valentine's Day from Abundance House!