Before reading further, please understand that the following post is a personal, journal-oriented sharing from the heart, with God. Nothing is meant to be judgemental or critical in any way, of anyone. This is just a sharing of  many honest wonderings, things that have me asking God why. Rather than remain in a state of mental wondering, I chose to rely on God's understanding rather than my own and present them to Him so that He could teach me as He chose. As I was praying, I felt impressed to write my journaling here.

Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you.
James 1:5
If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.

Have you ever been around a small child who ceaselessly asks the age-old question "Why?" ? If you could take the image of that child and imagine them sitting on God's lap, you'd see me. Wonderings seem to fly through my thoughts with such frequency that collecting them is a challenge. Why collect them? Because I want to know. I want to know why. I listen, I hear, I see, and I want to understand. I want to know, know how to lead, to guide, to extend God's grace, to heal. I want to unleash God right smack dab into the midst of it all, everything, everywhere. Maybe you have had "Why?" questions to ask God too. Maybe you have seen, heard, wondered, and want to know. If you have, please feel free to sit  beside me as I come before Him and ask Him...Why?

Why does it seem like Christians are so afraid of believing You, God, are as big, good, and true as You say You are? Why does it seem as if it is it easier for many to believe in evil, darkness, and sin than in goodness, provision, and grace? Why does it seem as if it is wrong to believe in prosperity when You, the One whose name we minister in, are a prosperous God? Why does it seem as if few believers in Christ know what prosperity really, truly is? Why don't more people understand that prosperity isn't really about money, that money is but a tool? If it isn't of You, then why does it seem like a lot of ministers spend a lot of time talking about how they aren't that kind of preacher? Why give it any time or attention at all if it is wrong?

Why does it seem as if there are scriptures and spiritual laws that don't get preached or taught about? Why is it fanatical to get excited about and talk enthusiastically about what You have done yet sharing all of the troubles and woes of the universe is accepted, even encouraged? If Your love casts out all fear like You say in Your word, then why is there so much fear in the body of Christ? Why does it seem as if  there is much fear of getting off base among those who are trusting You? Why does it seem as if Your children don't feel You, the God of the universe, are capable of keeping Your children from error? Why does it seem to make Christians uncomfortable when I take Your Word literally? Why does living completely in Christ appear to make Christians nervous and uncomfortable? Why does sharing a scriptural point of view seem to turn the conversation among many believers awkward yet stimulate meaningful, interested conversation among most non-believers?

Heavenly Father, why do those who have no knowledge of You accept Your miracles and goodness more readily than Your very own children seem to? Why are people in a bar more friendly and accepting of other people than those in church? Why? So many questions, God. I am an inqisitive child longing to know. Why does it seem to be wrong to believe You literally, about everything, God? Why? Why is it ok to struggle, while living victoriously through Jesus is met with critical skepticism? Why is failure expected and overcoming viewed with doubt? Why are we told to not get our hopes up when Your Holy scriptures repeatedly instruct us to hope in You? Why?

Why do so many Christians work so dilligently at blending into the world instead of bursting out from it with the Light of You so that the world may be set free from the bondage of sin and despair? Why do I scoot around the edges being too careful instead of turning loose and letting Your truth shine forth boldly? Why do I become more concerned about the opinions of men than whether or not I am pleasing You? Why do I fear instead of trust? Why do I mull it all around my mind so long when I could ask You, the One who knows all at the start? Why did I wait and wonder instead of seeking the only true answer, You, sooner?

Thank You, God. Thank You for not being afraid of or offended by my questions, the "Why?". I accept and receive the wisdom You give me. Thank You for the answers You will send and for those You have sent already. You are a good God, and I love You so. A song just came to me. A song from years and year ago. I sing it now, for You.

"How I love You, Lord
You're my all in all
I can see Your face
Your glory and Your grace
When You speak to me
You set my spirit free
Words can never tell
Just how I love You, Lord

Lord to me Your love is overwhelming
You're my glory, You're my everything
Forever You are worthy all the praise
My heart, my hands, to You I raise
In awe of You I lift my voice and sing"

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thank You, Thank You, for what has been on my heart for along

time. You said it perfect. This must go forward to others! Grammie