Right Isn't Always Love
Recently I was involved in a conversation that neither began nor ended well. The portion being shared will make that rather clear, unfortunately. As I was praying about how to avoid conversations like the one mentioned in the future, God brought a portion of the conversation to mind. At some point in the conversation something was said about me wanting to pick a fight. My reply went something along the lines of, "I don't want to fight. I'm not picking a fight, but if you bring one to me, I'm certainly not backing down." *sigh* I know, I know.
All excess drama aside, I knew something was off. I could sense it in my spirit, but I seriously could not figure out what it was. I slowly reviewed the conversation and just could not see where it went south, other than from the beginning. Neither could I see any reason why there would be this gnawing unrest still hanging around. I acknowledged it wasn't the best conversation, but it definitely could have been worse, and it was over. So why wasn't it truly over? I began checking all of the boxes off in my mind while attempting to figure out what remained "off". Why wouldn't this go away? Why wasn't it fading into the mists of yesterday? Why was it following me into the brand new moments of today?
Lines and melody from a song floated through my thoughts as a cool breeze wafted over my face. Turning towards the open window the brightness of Venus shone through a thin layer of clouds. "He's the one who puts the sparkle in a baby's eyes...He is here...Let's celebrate the presence of the Lord..." A sigh of restful relief exhaled tension as the reminder of His presence cooled my frustrated thoughts. "He is here." Yes. He IS here, and He knows why this won't go away. Quietly I waited for the answers to come. Yet again, the words of scripture began entering my mind. Every why, every wonder, every frustration was answered and put to rest as the ancient words of life penetrated the reasoning of man with the never-ending truth of God.
All excess drama aside, I knew something was off. I could sense it in my spirit, but I seriously could not figure out what it was. I slowly reviewed the conversation and just could not see where it went south, other than from the beginning. Neither could I see any reason why there would be this gnawing unrest still hanging around. I acknowledged it wasn't the best conversation, but it definitely could have been worse, and it was over. So why wasn't it truly over? I began checking all of the boxes off in my mind while attempting to figure out what remained "off". Why wouldn't this go away? Why wasn't it fading into the mists of yesterday? Why was it following me into the brand new moments of today?
Lines and melody from a song floated through my thoughts as a cool breeze wafted over my face. Turning towards the open window the brightness of Venus shone through a thin layer of clouds. "He's the one who puts the sparkle in a baby's eyes...He is here...Let's celebrate the presence of the Lord..." A sigh of restful relief exhaled tension as the reminder of His presence cooled my frustrated thoughts. "He is here." Yes. He IS here, and He knows why this won't go away. Quietly I waited for the answers to come. Yet again, the words of scripture began entering my mind. Every why, every wonder, every frustration was answered and put to rest as the ancient words of life penetrated the reasoning of man with the never-ending truth of God.
"Above all, love"
"Forgive as I have forgiven you"
"Love covers"
"Love endures long and is kind"
"Enfolded in love"
"In honor preferring one another"
In the presence of Love, of God, all of the facts were instantly stripped away. What remained was truth, and the truth was I had not loved as God loves. I had rationalized, reasoned, and tried to make sense of the situation, but I had not followed God's law of love. Love that conquers all, Love that covers a multitude of sins, Love that never fails, Love that lays down her life for her friend, Love that fiercely protects the ones she loves knowing God protects her, Love that heals, Love that gives, Love that lavishes itself over brokenness like a healing balm, Love that doesn't focus on correct and incorrect but on loving, Love that is confident and sure, Love that never ends. Love. Not only had I not extended love to another, but I had not trusted in God's love for me.
I had not covered, overlooked, or extended grace it is true, but even more sobering was the unbelief and mistrust of God it revealed in me. All these years the Lord has been loving me, yet still I live according to my own understanding and reason. All this time He has been faithful and true while I keep forgetting His ways. I keep forgetting I am His and not my own. I keep forgetting He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. I keep choosing death when He has given life. I keep taking even as He continues to give. I keep following man-made steps instead of the ancient path. Again the Words of life are heard.
"...the gift of God...not of works..."
"If we confess...He will forgive...and cleanse..."
"...knows my frame...remembers it is but dust..."
"...loving kindness and mercies...new every morning"
Over and over His words flow in a healing stream of truth. Whatever the situation, whatever the conversation, wherever we are in the process of life, He is here. He is here extending lavish grace, mercy, and love. May we extend to others as He has extended to us.
He is here
Let's celebrate the presence of the Lord
He is here
The Holy One oh let Him be adored
He is here
to worship Him is such a sweet reward
He is here
in our midst, He is here
( from He Is Here by David Baroni)